Fantasizing the future
A few years ago I wrote a story about a couple who, in the course of a meandering road trip, found themselves in Moosic, PA (pop. 5,976). It’s a place I’d never been, and in fact, had never even heard of. I picked it out randomly on a map.
To make the story realistic I scoured the internet for information about little Moosic. I learned about the nearby Lackawanna Coal Mine Tour and the Anthracite Heritage Museum (Moosic was clearly in coal country!). Jim and Margie parked their RV at the How Kola Campgrounds, and had a great lunch at Berlew’s Hoagies on Main Street (“Serving Signature Berlew Family Recipes since 1945”). Jim ordered The Original Berlew, a dreadful-sounding combination of “cooked salami, spiced ham, American cheese, lettuce, tomato, o&v”, while Margie had a Super Tuna (“Berlew signature recipe with American cheese”). On Google Images I found lots of photographs of Berlew’s Hoagies as well as the rest of Moosic.
I felt I had developed a real connection with the town. If I’d been blindfolded and dropped off in the middle of Main Street I think I’d recognize Moosic without difficulty. And would really enjoy my stay; fortunately, Berlew’s offers a veggie hoagie.
Moosic came to mind after I recently read an article claiming that a major part of what makes a vacation memorable is the anticipation. That is, considerably before you pack your suitcase or find yourself waiting in an interminable TSA line, you’re fanaticizing about what the experience will be like: checking out local restaurants on the web, identifying promising hiking trails, looking at photographs of the idyllic beaches you plan to bask on.
In fact, the article said, the anticipation may be the best part of the entire experience. This is because it’s about what we imagine it will be like rather than the cold, hard reality: the bus that was supposed to take us from the airport to the rental car office that never showed up, the hotel room that had a faint but persistent moldy smell, and the hard rain that caused the highly-anticipated whale watching excursion to be cancelled. Such realities are certainly memorable, but not in the pleasurable sense we’d hoped.
I think my virtual experience of Moosic was very much like fantasizing about a vacation. In my imagination I could make the Anthracite Heritage Museum an engrossing depiction of the time When Coal was King (if anyone really says that). The museum would be beautifully decorated, uncrowded, and maybe even have free admission because it was Seniors’ Day. To say nothing of the tea room that, to my pleasant surprise, served excellent homemade pastries. And to add further delight, the gift shop was filled with interesting coal memorabilia such as anthracite paperweights and decorative coal scuttles that could serve as umbrella stands. Then, after touring the museum we’d go to Berlew’s for lunch, where the staff was super-friendly, and the veggie hoagie absolutely delicious. This is in contrast to the possible reality that the Anthracite Heritage Museum is actually dingy and overpriced, and the soggy veggie hoagie contains an unwelcome slice of bright orange American cheese.
Hmm. This line of thinking seems to be rolling toward an inevitable conclusion: 1) plan a trip in detail, 2) fantasize about how wonderful it will be, and 3) don’t go.
So here’s my idea: First decide where you want to travel—Tahiti? Beijing? The South of France? Then go through the steps of making plane reservations. Select your travel dates on an airline website, and hey, why not be extravagant, and go Business Class? (But be careful—don’t actually push the “purchase” button). Next, find a great five-star hotel, check out one or two local tours, and go through the motions of booking some restaurants. Plan each day, but allow plenty of time to lie on the beach, wander through back streets, and have unexpected encounters with the locals (a friendly family you meet in the park will likely invite you home for dinner). On the day you’ve booked a particular restaurant, pull up the menu on their website and decide what you’ll order. Then pair it with a bottle of wine from their extensive selection; why not splurge, since this is a special vacation. And after a leisurely dinner, anyone care for a midnight stroll on the beach? There will be a full moon, and a warm gentle breeze is guaranteed.
Your vacation will come alive, and be quite memorable. As a bonus, this method will not only ensure that all your memories are great ones, unburdened by the constraints of reality, but will also save you buckets of money.
I’ve already got a head start with Moosic, so I may as well plan my next virtual vacation there. I think I’ll book a room at the Rodeway Inn on Birney Ave.—a Standard King with continental breakfast is only $61. And it’s just 1.6 miles from the Rodeway to Berlew’s; I’ll walk there for lunch, since I know for sure that the weather will be good. Can’t wait to tuck in to that vegie hoagie!
Sounds like Facebook’s Metaverse is what you need to experience ASAP! 😄
You hit the nail on the head! Planning a vacation is always the most idyllic part, if not the most fulfilling. I saw a satirical article recently, describing how Disney is now offering a $3,000 option for families NOT to visit their parks – saving them money, time and headaches! Hahahah. Perhaps you should visit Moosic one of these days and see how it compares to the fantasy.
Well, though I’m sure Moosic is lovely this time of year I think I’ll plan my fantasy vacation elsewhere. Certainly a great idea, especially for non travellers like me!
Guess I’d better get busy and lure you here…. There’s “Granny’s” and wild blackberry pie down HWY 101, a fire going in the Lake Crescent Lodge, a waterfall nearby at Marymere Falls, bike riding through tunnels on the Spruce Railroad Trail, and kayaking along the shoes near our home…. Come on up!
Nice travelogue, Kenneth Klein! Thank you for the trip!
Not long ago someone sent me a virtual tour invitation for national and international destinations, even including a library 🙂 It was reported that this keeps the seniors minds active, helps them not to feel isolated while sitting alone on their couches, and provides a social group.
If there is Granny’s wild blackberry pie, I would rather experience it in person! The virtual veggie hoagy is welcome to stay virtual 😁
The only thing left to do is go there! Imagine if our amazing trip to Ukraine never got beyond the virtual… Adventure awaits! Go, and please send illustrated dispatches as you sample all the sights and hotspots. And most interesting would be that imagined invitation to dine with a local family coming true in Moosic… Looking forward!
Ken, After I read your essay, the Temptations began to play “Just My Imagination,” and I imagined seeing the Rockwell illustration “Going and Coming.” The Rockwell composition shows a family on the way to vacation and the same family driving home….anticipation vs reality. Both the Rockwell and your essay are hilarious! Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
Brilliantly written, funny and 73% true. Your posts are so well written and interesting I wonder if you have thought about having them published, seriously, for example in the New Yorker. Less serious, just imagine what life could be like as a famous author: guest on Colbert; dinner at the White House; ….